Do You Play the “This=That” Game in Your Small Business Workplace?

My apologies for taking two weeks to follow up on my last blog post where I introduced the concept of “this=that,” and promised a deeper explanation on the concept. Here’s where it came from:

Two weeks ago a client asked me for help with an employee she thought was acting passive-aggressively towards her.

In reviewing the email exchange upon which this small business owner’s claim was made, it was easy for me to determine she was jumping to conclusions and blaming her employee for acting in a passive-aggressive way.

She jumped to this conclusion because this employee has a history of passive-aggressive behavior.

In this instance, it was not the case.

I pointed out to my small business owner client my reasons why I didn’t see this as passive-aggressive behavior, but as a reasonable response to a situation outlined in an email from their boss.

Because of past behavior, this client was playing the game “this=that.”

“This=That” causes a lot of stress, mis-perceptions, mis-understandings, hurt feelings and numerous other issues, and possibly conflicts, in the workplace.

“This=That” is a short cut that the human brain uses to make connections more easy to explain what happens in our world.

This brain shortcut is usually effective. Often you can easily make a realistic cause/effect connection, such as, touching a hot stove burner will cause a burned hand, which is just like stepping barefoot on a loose hot charcoal in the backyard from a barbecue grill.

This is how we learn and works well when we’re growing up and when we’re learning a new skill.

It doesn’t work so well when we’re trying to understand human behavior.

When we apply ‘this=that” to human behavior, especially in the workplace, we are making assumptions, causing us to label and blame others.

Labeling and blaming others in the workplace can only cause problems and conflicts between co-workers, and between employees and their small business bosses.

Do you play “this=that” with your employees and team members?

Have you ever been the victim of someone playing “this=that,” making wrong assumptions as to why you’ve done something?

Feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or experiences regarding the concept of “this=that.”

’til next time, Communicate with Power,

skip weisman, transforming leadership and workplace communication to deliver champion level results

Posted in Champion Leadership Tips, Champion Leadership Traits/Characteristics, Managing Employees for High Performance, Trust in the Workplace | Leave a comment

What We’ve Got Here is Failure to Communicate

“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate!”

Have you ever uttered (or at least thought of uttering) that famous movie phrase.

It’s the 11th most famous movie line of all time. It’s from the 1967 movie, “Cool Hand Luke,” staring Paul Newman.

Most every day people in workplaces all over the globe experience “failure to communicate.”

Funny thing about that, though, is that its not due to lack of trying.

Communication is occurring all the time.

Messages are coming at us more than ever, faster than ever, from more sources than ever.

Maybe that’s part of the problem.

One thing that creates “failure to communicate” is playing the game “this = that.”

I learned this lesson 15-years ago in a personal development seminar.

It was a revelation to me.

Think about how many people, yourself included, play the game “this=that?”

What do I mean?

I mean that we jump to conclusions all the time.

We place meanings on experiences based on our previous experience.

Our brain does that to make sense of the world it lives in, and make our lives easier.

Yet, that brain shortcut gets us into lots of trouble doesn’t it?

Just because someone says or does something in response to something similar you may have said or done yesterday, it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing as it did yesterday.

It may.

But, it also may not.

Be careful of jumping to conclusions in your communication by playing the game “This=That.”

I’ll write more about this item with a specific example of what I mean next week after the July 4th Independence Day Holiday weekend.

In the meantime, begin to notice how often you play “This=That” and whether it serves you or whether it may be causing your own, “Failure to Communicate.”

Please leave a comment below, if inspired to do so.

’til next time, Communicate with Power!

skip weisman, transforming leadership and workplace communication to deliver champion level results

Posted in Champion Leadership Communication, The Conscious Communicator | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Overcoming the F.U.S. of Your Life

Today is recovery day.

Recovery from the first 55-mile bike ride I’ve ever participated in.

It was a wonderful experience, personally and physically challenging.

The 55 miles was not the challenge, though.

Over the 55 miles we experienced an accumulative climb of 3700 feet in elevation.Skip Weisman, The Leadership & Workplace Communication Expert, after recent 55-mile bike ride

That was the challenge. A 55-mile flat terrain would have been a breeze.

My day was filled with F.U.S. yesterday. Virtually on every significant hill.

I’m proud that rode the bike up every hill except for two.

One I had to get off and walk because I tried shifting gears too late into the hill, which put pressure on the derailleur causing the chain to come off.

The other occurred just shy of the crest of a hill when I suffered a serious cramp in my right thigh.

Overall, I was happy with my performance and feel pretty good today after an evening of icing my previously injured left knee that made it through the experience.

There was plenty of F.U.S. (Fear, Uncertainty & Self-Doubt) for me, though, as each successive hill presented itself.

Especially as the six hour journey wore on. Each successive hill got tougher, both from an actual incline perspective (or so it seemed) and from fatigue.

As you might imagine there was plenty of L.I.D. (Limiting Internal Dialogue) to work through that was driving the F.U.S.

What I used, and what you need to apply to work through the L.I.D. causing the F.U.S. in your world is P.A.D.

P.A.D. is the opposite of L.I.D.

P.A.D. is Positive Affirming Dialogue.

You know, it’s like that childhood story about “The Little Train that Could” reciting the mantra “I think I can, I think I can!”

Of course, I would suggest that using “think” is still stuck in L.I.D., don’t you? There is self-doubt inherent in that phrase.
Instead of “I think I can,” the phrase needs to be, “I know I can,” or “I believe I can!”

It wasn’t easy all the time yesterday, I have to admit.

My wife, who is a better, more natural athlete than I, was often between a 10th of a mile to a quarter-mile ahead of me, sometimes added to my F.U.S.

Often she would wait for me to catch up. We would start out together and it wouldn’t be long until she pulled far ahead.

I came to be comfortable with that and measure myself against myself, and not measure myself against anyone else.

Another important lesson, which I chose to apply by shifting my L.I.D. to P.A.D. in those circumstances.

Not sure when the next biking opportunity will present itself, I’m sure there will others this summer, just need a few days to recover and it’s back to the gym’s spin class for more training.

Feel free to leave your comments below.

“til next time, Communicate With Power,

skip weisman, transforming leadership and workplace communication to deliver champion level results

Posted in Champion Leadership Communication, Champion Leadership Tips, The Conscious Communicator | 2 Comments